Blogger relations: Are there blogs you visit and comment on because you like their style, voice etc.(maybe you even converse with the blogger on Twitter & Facebook) but those comments are never reciprocated on your blog? Do you get a bit offended or do you understand that they may be busy?
I definitely do not visit all the people who visit me, and I hate that about myself! I try so hard to visit every blog that comments, but I never remember to visit all of them. I’m not sure why and I have no idea how to help myself do it more often. :/ That being said, I would never get angry or feel unloved or unappreciated, whatever, should people not come to my blog after I visit their blog. While we all look for comments as a way to validate what we do, I’m done hemming and hawing over it. It’s the quality of the comments that counts in the end, not the quantity. And I read each and every one, and respond to most.
Or do you comment just because you like a post not expecting anything in return?
I comment on a blog because I have something to say. Plain and simple. That being said, I don’t always have something to say beyond “AWESOME” or something similar, so I don’t always comment. My comments aren’t known for their depth, but I so try to say something of worth. LOL. I definitely read a lot more than I comment, which is probably the case for a lot of us.
Now, If someone comments on my blog with a “come visit me blah blah blah” and nothing else, the comment will get a swift DELETE on my end. That isn’t the way to get people to visit and I find it to be a very rude gesture.
What are your thoughts on these topics?
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I freely admit I usually go and check out people after a couple of comments in a row. It’s not a great policy, but usually the first comment they leave I’m just like “That’s nice, I should go see who they are” and forget. By the second or third comment they leave I start recognizing them, and if I haven’t visited them by the fourth time they leave a comment I feel guilty! Honestly, though, I’m one of those people who needs reminders like that lol.
I’m with you on the people that only comment to get me to go back to their site. I may not delete their comments, but I will NOT be visiting! I’m the stubborn kind of person who, when you tell them what to do, does the exact opposite just to be obstinate. I know. I’m picky. But I think it’s incredibly rude to leave a comment when you obviously only just barely read the post and then leave a link. It’s why I don’t comment as often as I should – I want to have something really important to say before I say anything.
I have often visited blogs after they comment, but if I can’t find anything to say, I don’t. I need to change this, I think.
And, I don’t think I delete the comment. I probably should have said IGNORE instead.
The “I love your blog – come visit my blog” are the only ones that I never bother commenting back or visit so it’s really a self defeating thing on their part.
There are SO many blogs out there now. There’s no way we can visit and comment on them all. I have my list of favorites that I try to visit/comment daily and then pick up the others when I get a chance to go on google reader or even better Twitter links that catch my eye.
P.S. You’re an excellent commenter!
Yea, I think that’s a newbie move. They’ll learn. heh.
It is definitely hard to follow everyone and I’m done feeling bad about it. I love finding new blogs but it’s hard to keep up. I have a favorites list I visit every day too, and then I try to get to the others at least once a week.
P.S. Thank you! I guess I needed to hear that.
I visit a lot of book blogs because I like to help bloggers out by sharing their links. It gets a little awkward for me sometimes because I’m not a blogger and don’t read much. I tend not to have much to contribute to discussions, so I usually keep my mouth shut. But I do read the blogs.
I used to comment whenever someone posted something about my books, but I heard from other authors it’s best to keep quiet because sometimes potential commenters shy away when they know an author is watching the discussion. Sorta sucks because I want people to know how much I appreciate them reading/reviewing my books. Sometimes I’ll just tweet them a thank-you instead.
We love that you do it, Kendall!
I recently found out the same thing about authors commenting. Check out this awesome discussion post: http://www.smashattackreads.com/2012/05/discussion-post-to-comment-or-not-to-comment/. I was kinda flabbergasted. I had NO idea…
I agree on all points.
One of the biggest things that I am trying to change about my commenting habits, is to only comment when I have something to say about the review, interview, post, etc. I don’t like writing “great post” because I feel like it might come across as not genuine.
I think you are a wonderful commenter by the way.
Yea, I very often find myself wondering what I can comment about a review. I try and connect with a what I enjoy in a book, and comment on those aspects. It helps!
This week’s question has been a good nudge for me — I get really busy and while I might read a post on a blog, I don’t always leave a comment …. and I should take a few minutes and do that, especially when I really like the post.
and … I totally agree with your last comment —- I don’t delete comments like that, but it turns me off to visiting that person’s blog.
It’s been a great nudge for me, too. I need to get better about visiting those who stop by and make an effort.
I feel that you are terrific with your comments and responses. And I know that you read all your comments and think about them and I appreciate that! I also would like to visit more blogs, it’s just time constraints.
I appreciate that, Pam! I do try and respond to my own comments with something substantial. It’s commenting on others’ posts where I struggle. heh
I have a bad tendency to only reply to comments on my blog and forget to travel to other blogs to comment (there are very few blogs I actually make an effort to comment on daily). I’m really trying to work on that. But it’s not always easy. But I try. Especially for people who comment regularly on mine.
I’ve always thought that commenting means that you feel the need to interact (i.e, it goes beyond reading and enjoying a post), and it requires something in return. I have a tendency not to comment on blogs that don’t respond to my comments. Not because I’m offended, mind you, but because I’m not going to waste my time attempting to interact with someone who doesn’t interact with me. So I go elsewhere. BUT. If the blogger responds to my comments yet never goes to my blog to comment, I probably wouldn’t be offended. I may stop commenting if it feels like a more one-sided relationship, but that’s it. (Which is hypocritical of me considering my earlier statement, I know.) I want blogging to be about establishing relationships with other bloggers, and if I have to pull all the weight in said relationship, I’m not going to invest much time in it.
I do ignore comments I feel are just to get me to go to their blogs. Those are still about interaction, but… not the kind of interaction I’m going to encourage.
So insightful, you are. I think at the end of that day, building relationships is what we should all strive for. We got into blogging to talk books with book lovers, and therefore, that community building is kinda crucial. Unless you just want to live in a bubble and not connect, which I would wonder why you are doing something so publicly as blogging to begin with…
Actually, it would not surprise me if people blog for the attention. There are a lot very popular blogs (and I don’t mean just book blogs), and that kind of popularity is what a lot of people strive for. It’s always been about community and building relationships with other bloggers for me, though.
That is a super rude gesture — I’ve had comments like that. Or, “New follower! Can you return the favour?”
I comment on blogs a lot — the only time it bugs me when someone doesn’t comment on my blog is if I comment on theirs constantly and they never comment back. But I have to get over that.
I do have a folder for Edmonton bloggers (my local city) and try to comment often, as well as a folder for my favourite bloggers, where I also try to comment often.
If someone consistently leaves meaningful comments on my blog, of COURSE I’ll go visit them! Maybe not initially, but definitely after a few comments.
Boooo on that shite.
Yea, in Google Reads, I have “Awesomesauce” folder which I visit daily. Then I have “Book Bloggers” which I visit within the week. I do what I can!
I understand that not everyone can comment on all the blogs, but I do appreciate thoughtful comments.
I am not upset that the big blogs leave comments but I understand that everyone has a life outside of blogging ( Real Life )
Still love you
*hugs you*
Yes, I shall ensure more appreciative comments in your future!
OH. And you actually think I’m a big blog? I am absolutely flattered, but definitely don’t think so. I think I’m small-medium sized in the grand scheme of things. Thanks for the ego boost though! <3
It is so hard to read and comment back on every blog. I feel bad that I don’t always get to people’s blogs who’ve commented on mine. I’m also guilty of reading a lot more blogs than I actually comment on. Perhaps, I need to change my ways a bit.
I think you can only do what you can do. If you set out to build relationships, like Amanda states above, you will do just that. We can’t be expected to comment on every blog.
I think you’re a great commenter – I see you splashed all over the place
and what you say always has substance, which I think is great.
I’m not a fan of the whole ‘come visit’ me gaff either – it makes me feel obligated and pushing me into something will only end badly (or in snark).
Why thank you! Ha. *pushes you*
*waits for snark*
Yeah, I definitely do a lot more reading of blogs than commenting on blogs.
Baby steps, right? I try to comment on at least 10 blogs a day.
I do my very best to go to every blog that comments on mine, especially if they’re someone who hasn’t stopped by and commented before. And I do get a little sense of *aw, shucks* if someone doesn’t comment on mine but in reality, it’s no biggie. Sometimes, you just don’t have anything to say!
I’m not always the most in-depth with my comments, either. But, again, whatevs!
I need to be more like you.
I’ve certainly lacked in the comment department more than I care to admit, but I try to work at it when I realize I’ve been slacking. It’s not easy sometimes, that’s for sure. Great post, Ash!!
I still love you, Jess!
Omg I feel bad, too! I mean, I don’t always have time to return every single comment but I think the important thing is that you do return “some”, and visit your regular commenters regularly or when you can. I don’t think anyone is really keeping track and if you don’t go 3 times a week you will be dead to them >.< As long as you're not a stuck up anti social blogger who think commenting is above you, you're good in my book!
I agree. We do what we can.
I don’t expect people to comment on my blog just because I comment on their blog. However, this is what irks me. When I comment on someone’s blog and they don’t respond to the comment. EVER. I don’t understand that at all. I thought part of blogging was actually communicating and in my opinion communication takes 2 people-it’s not a one way street. I have stopped even reading someone’s blog just for that fact.
OK-off my soapbox!
Shannon
http://www.irunreadteach.wordpress.com
Yea, I always appreciate a reply when I comment on another blog, but I always forget to sign up for notifications and only sometimes remember to check back for a response. So yea…lol. Sometimes I stop by blogs and see TONS of comments with no responses, but then I remember that a lot of bloggers on Blogger reply via email if they don’t have a reply function.
*hugs you*
You, Amanda & Felicia really added to my interaction. I always tried to go check others that stopped by, but replying was new to me unless someone asked a question. You guys rock the blog love.
Awesome! I’m glad we got you out of your shell.
I used to try to follow those comments back that left obvious links. But before long they just started feeling more like they only commented so I would follow back. It wasn’t long before I stopped altogether. But there are times when I will follow great comments back to share some love.
Yea, I guess some people might blog to feel accepted or think it’s a popularity contest. Not sure.
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