Why am I blogging about Glee on a book blog? Well, I’ve blogged about other shows before. I do So You Think You Can Dance Saturdays (ZOMG! It starts THURSDAY!) and Walking Dead Wednesdays with uber snazzy Jen D from Not Now…I’m Reading. Anywho, I just watched the Glee finale. That damn show always makes me cry, but this episode hit a little too close to home. I guess I’m blogging about it because I need to let out some emotion that, quite frankly, I didn’t realize I had. So yes, this is a personal post.
Rachel and Finn, while I saw it coming, did not ride off to bask in the neon lights of Times Square together. Nope. Finn put on his big boy underoos and sent Rachel, who was accepted to Niyada, off to NYC to live out her dream. Without him. He refused to sit by and let her remain behind because he did not make into acting school. He enlisted in the Army to “give back” to his father’s legacy, I suppose, though he states he chose the one place Rachel could not follow him. *sob sniffle bawl* While he ran beside the train as Rachel leaves on a 4:25 for her destiny, I could barely see the TV because I was a mess.
Ok, people get emotional during TV and movies, especially us ladies. However, while the entire scene was touching as hell, I was not crying for them. I was crying for me, and when the shock of that hit…well, the tears fell at an alarming rate. Thanks goodness I was home alone, although having T here right now would have been nice. Talking to him about it, fresh in the moment, would have been even more emotional, however.
You see, I met my husband when I was well on my way to living out my dream. For those of you who don’t know, my entire life changed after seeing Hotel Rwanda in the theaters in 2004. I became a human rights activist. I changed my major to International Studies, studied past and current genocides, led a student anti-genocide group during my undergrad, and applied to join the Peace Corps. I wanted to maneuver myself into a refugee camp and work side-by-side these victims of heinous acts, assisting them in finding some semblance of normality in a world full of violence and hate. Yes, I know how dangerous those jobs are, but I was prepared.
I got accepted into the Peace Corps, but was deferred for a year due to a medical issue that I overcame. During that year, T asked for my phone number, and my entire life changed. I fell in love with the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Of course, this man was not interested in joining the Peace Corps and running into the bloody sunset with me. Not that I blame him. During our first years together, I helped him realize that computer engineering was not his life’s purpose and a new physician was born. T was made for this work and I foresee greatness coming from him.
While T did not pursue the path of Finn and let me save the world (ha), I don’t think him one bit selfish for that choice. What he did help me figure out was that I can use that passion just as much in my own backyard. And so a new social worker was born. Yes, I hope to work with refugees one day, as it truly is what I aspire to do. Atlanta has a huge resettlement population and agencies, so maybe my dream will some day come true.
I want to make this clear, especially to Dr. Smash if he sees this: I have no regrets. Nada. Zilch. I just don’t think I ever got the chance to mourn the fact that it won’t be happening for me. I did today, and surprisingly, I feel extremely optimistic about our future. And proud. So damn proud of us both. Together, we can accomplish anything.
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